


I Never Left

by BenjisCoolTimes



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-14 16:19:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7179824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BenjisCoolTimes/pseuds/BenjisCoolTimes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leslie and Ben get into a fight right before Ben leaves for a short trip to D.C.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Never Left

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of the first fanfics I've ever written, so please feel free to give me some feedback! I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Comments and kudos would make my day :)

**Thursday Night**  

Tears spill down Leslie’s face but she makes no effort to wipe them from her cheeks. Under any other circumstance, the sight of her like this, red-eyed and trembling, would break Ben’s heart, but right now he’s just too angry. 

Ben turns away from her and puts his head in his hands, sighing in frustration. 

“I thought we’d agreed that you’d stop working so late,” he says.

 “I know. I just…”

 “No, Leslie!” Ben hisses, keeping his voice down so as not to wake the kids. “No more excuses.”

 “If you would just hear me out…” Leslie says, but then she falls silent at Ben’s expression.

 “Hear you out?! Leslie, we have three kids who barely even see you! Every single night this week I’ve come home, cooked dinner, given everyone their baths and put them to bed, and you haven’t even been here for a second of it. I don't care what budget proposal…”

 "It wasn't a budget proposal,” Leslie mumbles, cutting him off. Ben just looks at her, lost for words, before throwing his arms up in defeat.

“Fine, Leslie. We’ll discuss this when I get back.”

Ben doesn't even wait for a response before going upstairs into their room. He can hear Leslie crying behind him, but he doesn't care. He’s leaving for D.C. tomorrow, so it won’t be his problem for a couple days anyways.

He doesn't sleep that night.

 **Friday Morning**  

Ben stirs his coffee absently and taps his fingers on the arm of his chair. He’d arrived at the airport several hours before his flight just to get out of his house and now, as he waits, time drags painfully by.

Finally, after an agonizing three hours, passengers begin to board the plane. Ben shoulders his duffle bag, pausing only when his phone rings.

“Hello?” he says, awkwardly trying to balance all his things in one hand while giving his ticket to the stewardess.

It’s Leslie.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I know we still have a lot to discuss but I was being a jerk and I don't want you to leave when you're still mad at me.”

It isn't exactly what Ben wanted, but it’s a start.

“Thanks, honey. We’ll talk when I get back.”

“So you aren't mad?” Leslie asks, a hint of hope in her voice.

“I’m just frustrated,” Ben admits. “But I know we’ll work it out. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Ben smiles for the first time that day.

**Tuesday Night**

When Ben gets home, he isn't surprised to find that all the lights are still on, even though it’s close to one in the morning. Leslie isn't usually asleep until three anyways, despite all Ben’s futile attempts to get her into bed earlier.

“Honey?” he calls out, putting his bags by the door. There’s no answer.

Finally Ben spots her in the kitchen washing dishes. The running water must’ve drained out the sound of his voice.

“There you are,” he says, walking up to her, a smile stretching across his face.

It isn't until she doesn't answer again that Ben finally realizes she's crying. She doesn't even look at him when he stands next to her, choosing instead to wipe her face on her shirt sleeve.

“Hey, babe what’s wrong?” he asks, putting a soothing hand on her shoulder.

Leslie looks up at the ceiling, bracing her hands on either side of the countertop.

“The last time I saw you, we were fighting,” she says. She squeezes her eyes shut and more tears trickle down her face.

“Yeah, but we are going to work through it. Maybe a short break was what we needed to clear our heads,” Ben says. He smiles and rubs her arm, but she just pulls away from his touch.

“How could you do this to me?” she asks as she walks away.

“I- Leslie!” he yells as he runs to catch up with her. “I’m sorry I left on such bad terms. We probably should've worked it out that night.”

No answer.

“I’m sorry,” he tries, but once again Leslie ignores him. She crawls into bed, curling her body away from his as she cries into a pillow, her entire body shaking violently with each sob.

Ben rubs her back, unsure of what else to do.

“Don’t worry,” he tells her. “I’m not mad at you. We can talk in the morning.” He kisses her shoulder blade before turning off the light and getting under the covers himself. It’s only when Leslie finally calms down that he gets any sleep.

**Wednesday Morning**

When Ben wakes up, the bed next to him is bare. It isn't altogether unusual for Leslie to be up before him, but Ben had hoped she would get some sleep. She looked so tired last night, though he supposes that was probably because of the crying.

He pulls himself out of bed and makes his way downstairs. Leslie and the triplets are sitting around the kitchen table eating pancakes and way too much whipped cream.

The kids, or as Ben likes to call them, his three year old monsters, are all screaming energetically, but Leslie still looks exhausted.

“Morning pumpkin,” he says to Sonia, going to tickle her feet, but she just kicks them of his reach.

Apparently everyone is cranky this morning.

Finally, once everyone’s done, Leslie cleans up the plates and announces it’s bath time. Ben tries to help, but she moves the orange juice pitcher out of his reach before he can grasp it.

“Honey?” he asks uncertainly, but Leslie disappears into the bathroom with the kids. Ben attempts to reason with her through the door, telling her she doesn’t have to do everything to make up for last week, but it’s no use.

She doesn’t even come out until everyone, including herself, is showered and dressed. She’s wearing a pretty black dress with the diamond necklace he’d gotten her for her birthday.

Stephen, Westley and Sonia all look nice too, and it’s only then that Ben suddenly remembers the Parks picnic scheduled for that day. He figures that he should probably get into more appropriate clothes, although he hadn't realized that it was going to be so…fancy. He leaves Leslie with the triplets so he can get changed.

He just hopes that Leslie will stop being so mad at him soon. He isn't exactly sure why she's so upset, because he thought he’d made it clear that they would talk everything over and that it would all be okay. He sighs and unbuttons his shirt.

Suddenly, he catches a glimpse of red and he stops, his fingers stilling on the second to last button. He pulls his shirt away from his body slowly and gasps, falling backwards onto the bed in shock.

And then it all comes back to him.

 _His water sliding off the tray and into his lap._  

_The oxygen masks dropping down and the seatbelt signs blinking._

_The old woman next to him gripping the edge of her seat, eyes squeezed shut and mumbling a Hail Mary._

_His fingers fumbling as he tries to send one final text to his wife, telling her how much he loves her._

_The crash._

_Then the darkness._

It’s as he sits on the edge of his bed, shaking, that he pieces everything together.

He’s been dead since Saturday morning.

 **Wednesday Afternoon**  

It’s strange attending your own funeral. Ben had always assumed he would be standing in front of his parents caskets, not the other way around.

Leslie doesn't leave Ann’s side throughout the entire service, and Ben doesn't leave hers. The triplets stay silent for once, oddly aware that it isn't the time for talking or playing.

“Where’s daddy?” Stephen asks and Leslie wipes the hair from his forehead.

“I don’t know, pumpkin,” she chokes out.

Ben wants more than anything to reach out and grab her by the shoulders and tell her he’s right here. He's right beside her and he’s going to stay there for as long as he can. He wants to tell her that he never left.

**Thursday Night**

He needs some way to let her know that he’s here. He needs to let her know that it’s okay, because seeing her like this makes it feel as though his own heart is being torn to shreds.

Ben’s never seen Leslie like this before; so drained and defeated. Usually she’s vibrant and upbeat and full of energy. The sudden change is disturbing.

“I’m here,” he whispers, though he knows Leslie can’t hear him. “I’m right here, baby.”

Tears spill down his own cheeks.

He gets up from the bed abruptly, unable to endure watching her cry anymore, but as he does so, his cell phone falls out of his pocket. He goes to pick it up, but then he realizes that Leslie has jolted upwards, her eyes trained on the phone.

Ben stops, his hand halfway to the ground, and watches as Leslie, hands trembling, reaches for it. She picks it up and runs he finger along the long crack in the screen that wasn't there before the crash.

She unlocks it and Ben looks over her shoulder in awe. So far no one has been able to see any part of him, including when he’d dropped his wallet earlier in front of Henry. Ben’s always been notorious for letting things slip out of his pockets.

Ben recognizes the message displayed on the screen immediately. It’s the one that he’d typed out for her with sweaty hands as the plane plummeted further and further towards the ground. It’s the one that he was never able to send because everything went black before he could.

_I love you._

Now, as he watches his wife read the text, he wishes he could've written more. He wishes he’d told her that she's the most beautiful person he’s ever laid eyes on; that she came into his life and filled all these empty voids in him that he hadn't even known he had. He wants to tell her that before he knew her, he didn’t even know what love was and she made him believe in it.

She finally looks up from the phone and meets his eyes, as if she knows he's standing right there.

“B-Ben?”

Leslie reaches out her hand and rests it against his cheek. Ben covers her hand in his own, the feeling somehow more solid and real than anything he's felt in days.

“I’m here,” he whispers, smiling softly.

“I love you too,” she says, tears pooling once again in her eyes, though she's smiling softly. “So much, Ben.”

Ben presses her hand more firmly into his cheek, kissing the spot where her wrist meets her palm. He notices as he does so, that his body seems to be fading. It’s a slow transition, but he knows what it means. It’s time to go now.  
“I will never stop loving you Leslie Knope.” he says and then he lets go of her hand and everything fades away into a white bliss of nothing.


End file.
